Sunday, October 25, 2009

Leaves of Autumn

Some waits never end...

With dreams in my eyes, I sit here and wait
Knowing you for so long I know you'll be late
Yet I sit here waiting for you to come
I do have for company the setting sun

Though it's been so long
I still feel you all along
Your thoughts, your words, your whisper...
A lady here calls for her dog - Casper

There is a wait so visible in my eyes
I try to hide it with my umpteen lies
But then how do I lie to myself
Or hide all my pains in an antic shelf

Lost in a reverie of day's gone by
I try to distract myself, I dont wanna sigh
But the memories flooding into me;
What we've lost, they want me to see

Why did it happen, what went wrong
Thought we could keep ourselves from the bad world around
Were they just dreams we once saw
Or are we mere pawns abiding anothers law

Am stil here waiting, on my own
Yet i keep hoping you'll soon take me home
Walk beside me a couple in their prime
I sit here and wonder, will this joy ever be mine

Tear's well up, I cant stop them now
All I pray for is a little bit of love
The sun's set now, birds have gone home
Sitting here this twilight, I am but all alone

In autumn the tree's, do shed their leaves
But can everything thats tattered, be made right with just a seive
As time passes, disappear the leaves that have rotten
Aint life too fragile, like leaves of autumn...

Friday, October 23, 2009

not today....

Everybody as their own special day. A day long awaited...a day planned from a very long time.But what happens when the day arieves and your wishes dont come true, all your thoughts for that day take a different turn...
its a pain that can never be forgotten...

Everyday morn does rise the sun
We wake up with new dreams, hoping for some fun
What does the day hold, we never do know
At the end, would we feel nice or just plain low...

Ticking of the clock, they say is predictable
Just as before the final fall, the ball does dribble
Wish we too would know what to expect
Maybe then we could prepare, rather than drowning in the depth.

When actually did ego find its light of day
Why does our life depend on what it has to say
We might have our issues, so does everyone
Death can be brought with just a look, not always with a gun.

Had waited for this day, for a long time now
Is it too much to ask for a little bit of love
Just this day would have made all the difference
Atleast today, wish I had been your preference

Wanted to be held, tight in your arms
The only place I feel safe, away from all harms
You were the only one i wanted to be with today
Look into those eyes of yours, deeper than the blue ocean's bay

Nothing is it, I would have asked for
Sweet would have turned my day, but it seems to have gone all sour
Why is it the stars failed me this way
Aint this all I prayed every single day

Do you really think I dont cry when am left alone
How my heart breaks when you cut the phone
So many times I have wished I would have been dead
Rather than hear the words, now so often said

I love you my dear is it so hard to believe
I have bared my soul, what more am I to reveal
Look into my eyes am sure you will see
How much it is that you mean to me

This one day sweetheart, I wanted to call it our's
Just to be with you I did pray all my hours
Cant explain the pain felt when atlast you did say
How is it you finally mouthed the words "NOT TODAY...."

Thursday, October 1, 2009

tear's in the rain

" God made the world in six day's, but what is the world ?. It's what you or i see. Whenever someone dies a part of the universe dies too. Everything a person felt, experienced and saw dies with them, like tear's in the rain..."
- Paulo Coelho (The winner stands alone )

'CAREFUL' screams the girl, holding my hand
Presumes I am grateful for this little band;
Her painted nails, pierce through my skin
If not for her, I would have had my win.

She looks at me, thinking I am a fool
Wondering why my face still appears so cool;
Nodding her head, she walks off
I cant help but suppress my laugh.

How did she not notice my eyes
The very one's which have seen so many lies
Maybe then she would have let me end this pain
And forgotten all this like tear's in the rain...

Higher went my castles, up above the clouds
Dreamt I of things, much beyond my bounds
Knew where it is that i wanted to reach
And for this i even didn't mind being a leach.

These aint principles, I was once told
All that I was taught, I seem to have sold
Ready to pay the price, whatever asked for
Even if it meant, turning another life sour.

People were bought, as on a bid
Going back, its a guilt I still haven't rid
If you would call it a performance, I wanted to play main
And now everything feels like tears in the rain...

Came thy breeze I had so longed for
Like an angel from an ancient lore
Weather was pleasant, I used to smile
There was just one number, I always wanted to dial.

Love never is easy, all did say
Be prepared at the end to give your pay
There is no telling what it would ask
For all you know the angel face might just be a mask.

Refused to believe what I had heard
I was happy flying, a little bird
With a grin, my life I would have lain
Dint know then, they were just tears in the rain...

Leaves of autumn over ride my spring
Memories of love pierce my heart, they sting
No mask now, I see my beloved's deceit
In this game called love, I face my defeat.

Fame, Glory, Power; were they really worth it
Threads of life tearing, bit by bit
What do I hold on to, now that everything is lost
Blazing above is the sun, yet I feel the frost.

Played all my cards, have nowhere else to go
On a boat, where there are no oars left to row;
Is this how I end it all, on a busy lane
Else am I to continue, and feel my TEAR'S IN THE RAIN...

Saturday, August 29, 2009

i found this on a site called enchanted forest..
it touched me beyond words can say...
wanted to share it with you...
how insensitive we humans can get...when we are lonely we look for someone and once life is picture perfect again, we get all that we want we forget the ones who stood by us when we had no one..
though this talks about a dog, but please do spare a thought. havent we all turned into a use and throw lot. we give materials more importance than feelings.
only because an animal is smaller and they do not commute in words, it dosent mean their lives aint as important as ours. they have feelings too...they too love..

....Dont send your dog to a shelter!!! find them a good home please!

How could you do this to me?

When I was a puppy I entertained you with my antics and made you
laugh. You called me your child and despite a number of chewed shoes
and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend.
Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could
you?" - but then you'd relent and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My house training took a little longer than expected, because you were
terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights
of nuzzling you in bed, listening to your confidences and secret
dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We
went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice
cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs," you
said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at
the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career,
and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently,
comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided
you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and
when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" - still I welcomed her into
our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy
because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared
your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled,
and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I
might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room,
or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a
"prisoner of love."

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and
pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes,
investigated my ears and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything
about them, especially their touch - because your touch was now so
infrequent - and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret
dreams. Together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that
you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories
about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed
the subject. I had gone from being your dog to "just a dog," and you
resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now you have a new career opportunity in another city and you and they
will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made
the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was
your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal
shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You
filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home
for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand
the realities facing a middle-aged dog or cat, even one with "papers."

You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed
"No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him
and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty,
about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You
gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely
refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to
meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your
upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good
home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy
schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days
ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front,
hoping it was you - that you had changed your mind - that this was all
a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared,
anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the
frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own
fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day and I
padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully
quiet room. She placed me on the table, rubbed my ears and told me not
to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but
there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of
days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden
which she bears weighs heavily on her and I know that, the same way I
knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down
her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so
many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein.
As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I
lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry."
She hugged me and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I
went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or
abandoned, or have to fend for myself - a place of love and light so
very different from this earthly place. With my last bit of energy, I
tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could
you?" was not meant for her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was
thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

aut amat

aut amat aut odit mulier, nihil est tertium............................

I find myself standing on the road,
Something feels heavy, oh yes it's the load,
A burden that needs to be carried all the way,
Something which wont depart on any given day...

Time stands still, when i think of him,
Looking at me from atop his glasses rim,
The inquisitive look, the impish smile,
How was i to know it was only a lie...

Hand in hand did we stand,
On the shores of long lost sand,
You with me, i with you,
Felt more beautiful than early morning dew...

Away from the worlds eyes,
Atop the mountain highs,
Over the cities, over the towns,
High above the ground so brown...

Not a trifle of doubt in my mind,
What fault in me did you find,
I loved you more with every breath,
And wanted to be with you even after death...

The smile on your lips when yo thought of me,
Replaced by a frown, like bitter tea,
My voice to you sounds worse than a bark,
And i was the one you once called a lark...

Shunned me away, treated me like dirt
Nothing changed even after our son's birth
To look at your blood is all i asked of you
But you went away looking for somebody new...

To give away the child, is what i was told
But love for you in my heart, i still do hold
How do i let go, proof of our love
Only because things between us has changed so much now...

Why do you make me curse
When it is you i want to nurse
Collision of love and hate
I so dint want in my fate...

I cant hate you, but i need to move on
This cant be done, until your gone
Looking at you brings tears hidden
Apologies is something you still didn't

Our son takes his first step
His favorite seems to be johnny depp
Eager to mouth dad is my little one
How do i tell him, dad dint want this son...

Why do you stand so away my dear
Do come closer to your near
Eyes filled with mist as they lay
And look up at the milky way...

Far away i see the way
I know now what i would do this day
Pack my bags am ready to leave
Not now, sometime later i shall grieve...

Blood on my hands, i never wanted
But your sins need to be jotted
I pull the trigger and all i see is blood
Now am engulfed in misery, a different flood...

a women either loves or hates, there is no third course...